I am a Christian, raised in a non-denominational church. The Christian part of me will never change. I have a personal relationship with Jesus, and I don't know what I'd do without Him! I married a Catholic, then technically converted to Catholicism. There was a lot that was NOT said in my R.C.I.A. classes (and I attended them at 3 different churches) to make any flags come up about converting to Catholicism. Mainly, I had a nun tell me, "The only thing you have to believe to be Catholic is what's in the Creed." Well, any Christian believes what is in the creed (except for the one catholic (as in "universal" for those of you who think it's referring to only the Roman Catholic church) part).
But since I converted a few years ago, I have watched EWTN, listened to Catholic radio, and studied books about Catholicism. I think that what the nun told me wasn't correct. You have to believe in a LOT more to really be Catholic-- mainly, you have to believe that all of the rules that have come down from the Vatican (even from the dark ages) are applicable to you in the present day. You have to have faith that the man who is Pope has a direct link to God and will NEVER EVER make a wrong decision with regard to "faith and morals." It's a hard pill to swallow. My husband just wants to sweep the problems under the rug and keep on raising our children Catholic, but I have a deep sense of unease about it.
Why do I stay? Well, mainly because I believe that the Catholic church is a Christian church-- it is a good place to go and worship God. To me, God doesn't see divisions and "denominations;" He sees people's hearts. When we were dating, I always just went along with my then boyfriend to Catholic Church because it was important to him, and I really didn't think it mattered what kind of church it was so long as we were worshiping the Lord. I ended up converting because of my belief that the type of church just didn't matter. The nun's words about the creed even further reinforced my beliefs that I was "good to go" to be a Catholic. Well, I don't believe in confession, papal infalliblility, or that missing mass and masturbation are mortal sins that separate you from God. Can I really stay Catholic with these beliefs?
I do like some of the ritualistic aspects of Mass. I like the incense (sp?), the candles, the genuflecting, the bowing... it all feels very spiritual. I like deeply kneeling to Jesus before I sit down-- that feels great. When I visit a Protestant church and everyone goes in and sits with no special gestures, it feels really weird to me.
I also really like Catholicism in that it gives Mary her special place in the whole scheme of things. I guess that the Protestant Reformation wanted to do away with all things perceived to be Catholic, so Mary had to go. It was like throwing the baby out with the bathwater if you ask me. I believe that the Rosary is very special, and I believe in all church-approved apparitions of Mary. Catholics aren't even required to believe in the apparitions of Mary, but I have read about a lot of them in detail, and I believe. Mary's message is always the same, and always what you'd imagine the Mother of God would say if she came down to EArth-- pray, repent, seek Jesus like there is no tomorrow. I could never let the Mary thing go at this point. Thousands of people have seen her at various points in History. Could I ever go back to being Protestant with this belief?
